Expectations run most people's lives, but they don't realize it because they're a Trojan horse. They sneak into your life as common sense and the obvious move.

This makes me think of someone who's in the middle of a career crisis. As they look at their regular weekly to-do list, they realize a place that once brought them joy now feels like a foreign country. Every day they stay, they lose a piece of who they truly are and sight of who they want to become.

But even then, it doesn't make sense to pivot. Instead of exploring a new path, they choose what they think they "should" do and force themselves through the work that no longer fulfills them.

Sunday comes around again, and they're back to staring at another laundry list of tasks that don't feel like theirs. But without realizing it, they continue to do what's expected. Be agreeable, don't rock the boat, keep on chugging along.

They're a cog in the machine.

When this is your approach, you become a product of expectations instead of your own desires. You start to look like everyone else around you, living the life that "makes sense" rather than the one that reflects your unique self.

Back in 2020, my wife, Nicolle, and I lived in West Hollywood near many of our friends. Just about every Saturday, we'd meet up with a group to watch live music.

Even though it felt like home for a handful of years, something was shifting beneath the surface. It was losing the spark it once brought us, and we were getting the itch to move somewhere new.

We started playing with the idea of moving out of state, which felt out of character for two people who had lived in California their entire lives up to that point. As Nicolle sent me different rental properties in Washington, my mind started to spiral around the expectations, and I could feel my resistance growing.

How can we move away from our friends? What will they think of us? Shouldn't we stay close to everybody else?

Staying in California felt like the obvious choice. It was expected. Get married, buy a house, and start a family. Follow the path already laid out, and give people what they anticipated.

While the choice between California and Washington looked like choosing between two states, it was really between living the same story as everyone else or one that felt like ours.

As we were eating our first meal on the floor of our new apartment in Seattle, I looked at Nicolle and said, "We'll never have to regret not doing what we wanted to do."

When you let expectations lead your life, your value, genuine perspective, and authentic way of moving through the world become hidden behind your choice to be common. You're indistinguishable and replaceable.

Anyone can be common, but only you can be you.

Book recommendation of the week

Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nyguen

Joseph's work comes from a very heart-centered and genuine perspective. This book will help turn the chaos you feel in your mind into the peace that you crave. If you're someone who gets caught up in there spiraling thoughts, this one's for you.

p.s. ​Text "INSPO" to 707-289-7047​ to receive free weekly inspirational messages directly from me to your phone. Your data is always secure and kept private. I'll never charge you a penny. I'd love to have you!