Most people I’ve met want to find what they love. Passions. Hobbies. Interests. The things that make them feel alive. Whatever you want to call it.

But many people feel like they’re missing out on that part of life. Instead, nothing motivates them to get out of bed in the morning. They think to themselves, Is this as good as it gets? Their life feels empty.

Have you felt that recently?

More often than not, that correlates with a lack of curiosity. A lack of searching, trying, exploring. A lack of living with an open mind and an open heart.

Accepting that this is as good as it gets, even when you know there’s more out there.

Unfortunately, that lack of curiosity is not your fault. It almost happens by design. At some point in our lives, we grow out of our childlike curiosity.

Maybe it’s because the world demands so much from us.
Maybe it’s because “growing up” turns into letting go.
Or maybe we’re afraid of looking foolish for being childlike.

Whatever it is, one day, in the snap of a finger, our curiosity disappears.

Just like that, it’s nowhere to be found.

Tragedy.

Curiosity is your greatest tool. It’s your flashlight in the dark, helping you find what you love. Even in the seasons of your life where you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, curiosity illuminates your next best step.

If you're new around here, I'm on a mission to help you write a love letter to life. A love letter to life isn’t a physical letter you write once. It’s a living, breathing letter written through your curiosity to explore all life has to offer, your bravery to embrace change, and your courage to follow the nudges pulling you forward.

Today, I want to share a simple yet powerful way to connect with your curiosity and find what you love through the wide-deep approach.

First, go wide, then go deep.

Go Wide

People often rule things out before even trying them. They think, I won’t like that. And so they don’t try, and nothing changes. They stay stuck, not knowing what’s meant for them.

Going wide means doing the opposite.

It means flipping on your curiosity and exploring broadly without judgment, expectation, or needing to know the outcome. It’s about trying new things simply because they call to you.

Instead of ruling something out before trying, you become a yes person.

You say yes to life.
Yes to what you’re drawn to.
Yes to new experiences.

It could be a pottery class, a writing retreat, a new city, or picking up a guitar just to see how it feels in your hands.

As you try new things, you gather information on what you like and don’t like.

While you may think finding out what you don’t like is a waste of time, I’d argue against that. Knowing what you like and don’t like is essential for building a life you love. This shows you what to rule in and what to rule out.

Let me give you a quick example.

When I was trying to figure out my career, I thought I wanted to be a professional travel photographer. I had the talent and skill, but once I started making money doing it, I stopped liking taking photos.

I’ve also always wanted to become a singer. I decided to hire a vocal coach and give it a shot. I sucked in the beginning (I have the original voice memos to prove it), but I still enjoyed it. I started to fall in love with the process of getting better.

Both these experiences were valuable.

I now know I don’t need to make money through photography and can just do it for pleasure. I also know I love to sing, and now I’ve been doing it for the last five years. (Maybe I’ll post a song in The Vault.)

Going wide can do the same for you. It helps you build a life you love that’s full of what you love.

Here’s a simple challenge for you: For the next two weeks, be a yes person. Try new things. Put yourself in new experiences. Allow yourself to play a little. Go wide. Say, “Yeah, I’ll try that” before saying “I won’t like that.” Take note of the things you enjoy and don’t enjoy.

Go Deep

After going wide and building a list of new things you enjoy, the next game to play is exploring the vastness of those things by going deep.

For example, let’s say that by going wide, you tried journaling. You realized you enjoyed writing. It helped you reflect, grow, and learn more about yourself. Instead of moving on to something else, go deep.

You could explore different types of journal prompts (get 100 free ones here) or styles of writing. Maybe you try poetry, fiction, or narrative writing.

The deeper we explore something, whether a practice, a ritual, or a hobby, the more space we create to fall in love with it.

A lot of people miss out on what they love because they don’t explore something enough. They move on too quickly, as if they’re trying to find endless things that light them up instead of one thing.

Imagine if that’s how you approached making new friends.

A strong friendship isn’t typically built in the surface-level conversation you have over coffee when meeting for the first time. It’s built as you spend more time getting to know each other and having deeper conversations that reveal who you truly are.

Finding what you love works the same way.

The deeper you go into something, the easier it is to understand if it’s meant for you. And along that journey, you learn more than you ever could by going wide.

You find what you love.

Here’s a simple challenge for you: Choose something from the list of things you found by going wide and go deep. Explore it as if you were getting to know a new person. Use curiosity to shine a light on what else may be in it for you. Repeat this challenge as you discover more things you enjoy in life.

I’d love to hear from you! What has your curiosity helped you discover in your life so far? What’s one thing you didn’t know you enjoyed doing until you tried it? Let me know in the comments below.

P.S. If you loved this article, you'll enjoy my free weekly newsletter, Love Letter to Life. I send out one essay per week that empowers you to explore all life has to offer, embrace change, and follow the nudges pulling you forward. Ultimately, write your own love letter to life.